today reach white late. cos i thot was 3pm , but actually is 245 start. but is ok. trainer close one eye. hehehehe. day was tired. but is damn fun. the group of them will be going to momo this thur. but i think i mostly wont go. today is that gal birthday. fuck. i thot i can hug her. cos is her birthday, so i have that a reason to hug her . but i was too rush . so i miss it. fuck !!!! i miss her alot !!! i wan to hug her!! but i still have to control. still have to act like a happy gal. but is ok. cos she look that happy. i think she like how the situation now. so better don spoil it. continue it. i will keep quiet . standing a side. looking quietly.feel it slowly. i wont break the rule . i am happy. like a silly . like a stupid. waiting for it. i was thinking . why i was the one to let go?